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Because the clothing for
the groom and his attendants must be
coordinated with the bride's gown and
her attendants' dresses, the choice of
formal wear for the men is necessarily
put off for a while when planning a
wedding. Keep in mind, this should never
be left for a last minute decision. This
can lead to availability problems in
both style and size at the rental outlet
and can, in some cases, even force a
groom to buy a tux to get the style you
want.
More and more men are actually buying
their tuxes these days instead of
renting one. This is a fine idea for
those of you with an active social
calendar which includes many formal
affairs. But for the majority of men,
one seldom wears a tux. (In fact, many
men only wear one once in their entire
lives - on their wedding day!) And so
for probably 95% of all grooms, rental
is the way to go.
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CHOOSING THE RIGHT
TUXEDO
Because the tuxedo must
be coordinated with the wedding gown, we
must wait until we've settled on the
dress before beginning the hunt for the
right tux. However, it is recommended
that you begin your search immediately
after ordering your wedding gown. Carry
a picture of the gown with you when
shopping and a swatch of the cloth if
possible. Style is all in coordination.
For example, if you'll be wearing your
grandmother's wedding gown, then you'll
be needing an "old fashioned" look for
the groom: Are tails available? Are top
hats too much or just right?
(Representatives of the men's formal
wear industry recommend that you begin
shopping for the tuxedos up to six
months before the wedding, with three
months as an absolute minimum amount of
time for a successful search. That tells
you when the bride needs to have chosen
her gown and attendants' clothing - if
that's not done, some prodding or
another course of action might be called
for.)
Something which must be fully discussed
right away is whether or not the groom
will feel comfortable in the chosen
style. I know this is the age of
enlightenment, but when men get
together, tuxedos are still almost
universally described as "monkey suits"
or "penguin suits". Let's face it - many
(if not most) men really don't like to
dress up! Remember, this is the most
important day of HIS life, too, and
comfort and confidence must definitely
be considered.
One way around coordinating everyone is
to select a basic "classic" tuxedo
(suit-styled with black or color
coordinated satin trim) and use
accessories to achieve the desired look.
These accessories can include shirts,
vests, cumber bunds or belts,
ties/ascots/scarves, gloves,
handkerchiefs, flowers and jewelry
(cufflinks, studs, etc.). On a basic
white, grey or black tux, anything goes
color-wise so you'll have many, many
options.
WHO WEARS A TUX
Depending on just how
formal an affair you're planning, any
number of male guests and attendants may
be required to wear a tux.
For an informal setting, just the groom
or the groom and best man will be in
tuxedos.
For semi-formal, the entire wedding
party, including all the ushers, the
father of the bride (or whoever is
"giving her away"), and the ring bearer
should wear a tux.
For a truly formal affair, everyone of
importance in the wedding party and the
family should be in a tuxedo. This
includes, besides the groom and best
man, all ushers and groomsmen, ring
bearer, fathers, stepfathers,
grandfathers, brothers, etc. In other
words, anyone who's being formally
presented as an honored guest at your
ceremony and reception.
It is particularly important to start
shopping early for a large wedding party
of this kind because the rental shop may
actually have to order some sizes or
more suits in your chosen style. You'll
also have a lot more fittings to take
care of and a lot more pickups and
returns to coordinate.
It is therefore imperative that you
coordinate as many members of the
wedding party who'll be in tuxes in
getting to the rental shop and/or
tailor, preferably all together or in
another organized manner. In the case of
an out of town member who will not be
available until shortly before the
wedding day, is is important to get
their exact sizes (including, don't
forget, shoe size!) to you provider as
early as possible. It is actually
recommended that the out-of-towner's
measurements be taken by a professional
tailor and shoe salesperson. This will
give your local shop unquestionably
accurate information and enable you to
provide a perfect fit for your incoming
guest.
WHO PAYS FOR THE TUXES
The rule of thumb is that
each male member of a wedding party (or
extended wedding party) pays for his own
formal wear. The choice to rent or buy
is left to the discretion of each
participant.
Often, the groom will pay for the best
man's rental (or vice versa) as a
gesture of friendship and/or thanks. It
is now often the case that the cost of
the tux is offered in lieu of a gift
between the groom and best man,
eliminating the time and expense of
trying to find a suitable, more
personalized gift.
We should mention, of course, that even
in the most traditional setting where
the "father of the bride" (mother,
father, parents, family) is paying for
the entire wedding, the tuxedo rental is
not considered part of the package. The
men's formal wear is always covered by
the groom, best man, his family, or the
individual members of the wedding party,
never by the family of the bride.
The average cost of a tuxedo rental
these days is in the $100.00 range,
which, up from $50-$75 in just the last
few years, makes it an item for which
planning could be necessary when
budgeting your wedding. (Think about it
this way - groom, best man, the fathers,
four ushers, a ring bearer, and one
grandfather and you'd be talking about
$1000.00! It adds up quickly.)
WHEN DO WE PICKUP THE
TUXES
It is really important to
make arrangements for everyone to have
their tuxedos 2 or 3 days before the
wedding. This allows for any last minute
changes, additions and alterations
without last minute scrambling. Even
after final fittings, things can go
wrong. You don't want a member of your
wedding party discovering his tux
doesn't fit as he's dressing for the
ceremony!
RETURNING THE SUITS
Each member of the
wedding party should return his tux (or
make plans to have someone else return
it) on the first business day after the
wedding. In the case of the groom's tux,
it is traditional that the best man
takes care of the return.
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